Comparison equals self-depreciation
“I compare myself to everyone here” 💔
The woman said in the group.
It struck me. Her vulnerability touched me and the other participants.
I was leading a group session on team alignment, we were discussing unconscious and unrealistic expectations we have towards ourselves.
Everyone could relate to what she was saying. The pain of being stuck in comparison games.
When were you last comparing yourself? Who was it? Maybe it was your colleague, best friend, mentor or maybe even an influencer?
Every time we compare ourselves to others, we minimize our worth.
When we compare, we sometimes try to “act” or “take on” other people’s way of doing things. In reality it’s unkind towards ourselves to imitate someone else. This imitation can happen in subtle ways. Rushing to buy the product someone spoke about, joining a course someone had success with, or pursuing a goal that was not really yours.
When you do this, you self-depreciate. You take on the values of others, and dismiss what wholeheartedly matters to you.
View comparison as an invitation to mindfully check in on what is actually significant to you.
When we compare, sometimes we move towards competition. When we compete, we perceive that there isn’t enough for one self.
This can feel true, when we compete to receive a gold medal in a soccer game, or when we compete for a job.
That said, competition comes from a scarcity place, the fear of losing "something." In reality nothing is fundamentally missing in your life.
You are not here to compete with other people. You are here to be your authentic self.
So here a piece of good news 🎉
You have a competitive advantage. You may just be looking “the wrong place.”
The advantage doesn’t lie in tearing someone else down or putting enormous pressure on yourself.
It’s more simple than that. Here is what it boils down to:
Pursue what you spontaneously love doing, and not what you believe it should be, or what someone else appears to be doing.
You’ll always do the best doing the thing that you most love.
It might sound simple, but sometimes you might not give yourself the permission to do that very thing.
The secret is that the second you get congruent, you actually get a head of the line.
Be of service to others in the area that you love.
Don’t compete with people. Stick to what you do best.
Remember comparison leads to unnecessary suffering.
Come back to all of your magical parts. You’re unique. You're wonderful as you are.
Des bises de la Ville Lumière,
Nora