When we make dysregulation bad
“Can you tell that I love my job?”
That’s what I found myself saying to my client last week.
She laughed and nodded. It slightly surprised me to hear myself say this, yet it felt sweet to acknowledge. It’s true, I love what I do.
I was inspired talking to her, hearing about her growth and insights.
I sometimes have to pinch myself and remind myself of the privilege of what I get to do everyday.
I’m grateful to support people in being present with their most intimate, vulnerable experiences.
And these beautiful experiences happen every day…
Thanks to my clients, I joyfully celebrate eight years as a psychotherapist. Over the years, I often hear clients saying things like…
“I have bad anxiety”
“I’m too emotional”
“I shouldn’t be feeling this”
Yet, I’m not in the business of finding “issues” in people. I believe it’s important to watch for this tendency to overstigmatize ourselves.
To make our dysregulation bad. It has become trendy to FIX ourselves.
Particularly fixing ourselves with an IG quote, obsessively googling “How to not be depressed/sad/anxious/[fill out the blank]” or find any escape to our discomfort.
We’ve turned it into a toxic habit to make every single one of our behaviors bad.
This isn't your fault.
Capitalism teaches you to over-pathologize. To find an issue about yourself. There is profit in creating "problems."
Let me be clear: I’m not dismissing nor minimizing your struggle. It’s crucial to acknowledge your mental health and the pain you face.
But there is a difference between kindly bringing awareness to your experience vs. making yourself wrong or policing your emotions.
Experiencing mental health struggle is consistently dehumanized and shamed.
The truth is that there is no such thing as a mentally healthy person.
Yea, you can try googling it, and you’ll find no answer to what “mentally healthy” means.
Practice authentically expressing your emotions and feeling empowered by that.
The bravest and kindest thing you can do is to let yourself experience what is truly present within you. It’s your chance to be unapologetically you.
Don’t hide the most beautiful parts of yourself.
Hugs
Nora